Madame Web - Just No.


Madame Web is not only the worst comic book movie ever made, but most likely the most poorly made movie I have ever seen. How Sony has been so self unaware over the last few years is almost adorable and endearing. If it weren’t so frustrating. 

  Starring Sydney Sweeny, Isabela Merced, Celeste O’Connor, Adam Carr, and Dakota Johnson as the titular character, written by the same writers of Morbius and directed by Heroes alum, SJ Clarkson, Madame Web follows Cassie Web as she sort of tries to keep three spider-women (Sweeny, Merced, O’Connor) safe from an extremely poorly dubbed Tahar Rahim’s Ezekial Sims, for reasons. 

From the weirdly comically garbed “Spider-Men of the Amazon”, the obvious ChatGPT script loaded with awkward and cumbersome dialogue, the abrupt and confusing editing, the unfortunate lack of interest in acting from the cast, boom mics left glaringly obvious in frames, and VFX that makes “The Flash” look polished, to the paper thin plot and absolutely ridiculous climax and resolution, Madame Web is little more that Sony trolling movie goers and comic book movie fans. 

Not only has the film’s cast never seen a Marvel movie, none can even name a Spider-man film, which is where the characters are derived from. Aside from the lack of interest and research by the cast and crew, no one seems to understand the difference between the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Sony. Which only further enforces my theory that The CW simply moved their Super Hero content team to Sony’s offices where they continue to troll us. 

Madame Web isn’t even hilariously bad like its predecessor, Morbius. At least you could sit and have a good laugh at Morbius’ expense. Madame Web is just depressingly bad. Even though the star of the film herself even stated that the script went through more changes then she was even aware of and the film was changed AFTER filming, it doesn’t change the onscreen performances, dialogue and disrespect to the Spider-Man IP. 

“When one accepts responsibility, one assumes great powers.” - Amazonian Spider-Men. Don’t even disrespect Uncle Ben like that again. Ever. 


       Madame Web will make you appreciate films like The Marvels and Black Adam far more than you did before. Because, it can in fact get worse. And this is that. This is worse. 


Madame Web Is Currently in Theaters

Previous
Previous

Argylle - Meh.

Next
Next

The Iron Claw - Cinematic Excellence